T'was the day before termination

Hmmmm....so not really in the mood to post any serious HR topics through the holidays so what should we write about???

I know, I know.....Let's get a twisted HR mind ravish a holiday classic poem!!

Happy Holidays everyone - HRunplugged


T'WAS THE DAY BEFORE TERMINATION

T’was the day before termination, when all through the pod
Not an individual was aware of the impending “act of god.”
Paul was calm as could be with no worries at all,
Talking about the fun he would have on the weekend pub crawl.

Coming in around noon was a usual occurrence
Multiple warnings didn’t create any deterrence.
Spreadsheets were developed with too many mistakes,
That made Paul’s Manager develop multiple headaches.

His ego was huge, he would brag “how great am I?”
To which everyone would stare fuming without giving a reply
The team would complain that Paul never pulled his weight,
His continual lack of commitment would make everyone irate!

They day had come where enough was enough
After yelling at Molly, “hey there, hot stuff!”
Paul’s Manager picked up the phone, things had gone way too far,
And dialed the department that could save him….yep it’s HR!

Susie answered the phone in her sweet calming tone
“I hear you have a termination that you can no longer postpone.”
A few questions were needed to help determine severance pay,
“Let’s discuss discipline used to reduce our risk on d-day”

“How ‘bout verbal, written and escalating memos galore?
I’m sure you used suspension and told Paul we can’t take this no more!
How ‘bout coaching, meetings and a performance improvement plan?
You better have this all documented from the moment this behavior began!”

Paul’s Manager hung up the phone and was scared out of his mind
HR had made him believe that dismissal was the end of mankind!
The termination was scheduled after hours of debate,
Paul’s end of employment was an inevitable fate.

Paul’s Manager came in early to prepare for the meeting that day
The difficult conversation repeating in his head like a slow-motion replay.
Paul showed up late, as we had all come to expect,
When his Manager came over a nervous energy Paul did detect.

They went into the private room where Susie was waiting
The decision was made; this was no time for debating.
Paul had a seat, while his Manager took a deep breath,
He was nervous and shaking; scared half to death.

“I’m sorry Paul but today we have bad news
Unfortunately things aren’t working out and your job you must lose.”
Paul walked out of the room and the door he did slam
Paul said “you will never find an employee as great as I am!”

Let this be a warning to all those who think that they are immune
A termination in your office could occur almost any afternoon!
So here is the advice that we leave with you all
“Stop acting like an ass or you’ll end up like Paul”