T'was the day before termination

Hmmmm....so not really in the mood to post any serious HR topics through the holidays so what should we write about???

I know, I know.....Let's get a twisted HR mind ravish a holiday classic poem!!

Happy Holidays everyone - HRunplugged


T'WAS THE DAY BEFORE TERMINATION

T’was the day before termination, when all through the pod
Not an individual was aware of the impending “act of god.”
Paul was calm as could be with no worries at all,
Talking about the fun he would have on the weekend pub crawl.

Coming in around noon was a usual occurrence
Multiple warnings didn’t create any deterrence.
Spreadsheets were developed with too many mistakes,
That made Paul’s Manager develop multiple headaches.

His ego was huge, he would brag “how great am I?”
To which everyone would stare fuming without giving a reply
The team would complain that Paul never pulled his weight,
His continual lack of commitment would make everyone irate!

They day had come where enough was enough
After yelling at Molly, “hey there, hot stuff!”
Paul’s Manager picked up the phone, things had gone way too far,
And dialed the department that could save him….yep it’s HR!

Susie answered the phone in her sweet calming tone
“I hear you have a termination that you can no longer postpone.”
A few questions were needed to help determine severance pay,
“Let’s discuss discipline used to reduce our risk on d-day”

“How ‘bout verbal, written and escalating memos galore?
I’m sure you used suspension and told Paul we can’t take this no more!
How ‘bout coaching, meetings and a performance improvement plan?
You better have this all documented from the moment this behavior began!”

Paul’s Manager hung up the phone and was scared out of his mind
HR had made him believe that dismissal was the end of mankind!
The termination was scheduled after hours of debate,
Paul’s end of employment was an inevitable fate.

Paul’s Manager came in early to prepare for the meeting that day
The difficult conversation repeating in his head like a slow-motion replay.
Paul showed up late, as we had all come to expect,
When his Manager came over a nervous energy Paul did detect.

They went into the private room where Susie was waiting
The decision was made; this was no time for debating.
Paul had a seat, while his Manager took a deep breath,
He was nervous and shaking; scared half to death.

“I’m sorry Paul but today we have bad news
Unfortunately things aren’t working out and your job you must lose.”
Paul walked out of the room and the door he did slam
Paul said “you will never find an employee as great as I am!”

Let this be a warning to all those who think that they are immune
A termination in your office could occur almost any afternoon!
So here is the advice that we leave with you all
“Stop acting like an ass or you’ll end up like Paul”

What makes a great HR person...really?

If you say they must be "a people person" or that they must like people I'll choke. We all know that liking people is not on the top of the necessary attributes list for an HR professional. It should probably be more like a 'healthy respect for the bizarre nature of the human race'!

What about the need for a great HR person to have the CHRP designation? What about that? Many of us, even those that don't have an iota of experience in the HR trenches, have that designation. So that credential is questionable at best.

I had an insightful HR Director once who always looked for someone with "chutzpah" (a yiddish term - the quality of audacity for good or for bad; describing someone who has over-stepped the boundaries of accepted behaviour with no shame; pronounced a bit like "hootspah" but with a little more phlegm in the back of the throat!). Now, that's starting to sound a bit more like it.

I know that we all look for someone that has the same values as our own Company's values. But what else? What are the things you look for in a great HR person?

Top 10 Reasons Why HR Sucks!!

Yes, I know....How could one of our own write this??? These are some of the HR pet peeves that unpluggedHR finds challenging about our own kind!! According to a recent study only 4% of organizations rate their internal HR department as "first-rate." Perhaps some of the common characteristics listed below explain why.

Open for discussion. What do you think? Do you disagree?? Are these common characteristics you find exist within the HR community? Why haven't we made the change - the business clearly wants us to???

1. For the last 10 years we have been talking about being a “strategic business partner” and having a “seat at the table.” Enough talk already – if this was actually happening, we wouldn’t need to talk about it anymore!!




2. Our top resume highlight is how we developed a policy manual on how to develop HR policies.




3. We hide behind best-practice, policies and procedures and don’t use our own God-given common sense to provide reasonable solutions that focus on good business results




4. We won't even consider supporting a termination unless there have been 3 verbal warnings, 4 written memos and a suspension on file regardless of the individual situation




5. We work in isolation to come up with all the answers for the business because we know best (Aren't there two sides to partnership???)




6. We like complicated fancy tools and high-powered technological HR solutions that the business doesn’t have time to learn and let's be honest....they don't understand how this actually adds value to their world




7. We keep secrets from the business and buddy-up to defend employees without even recommending that the employee talks to their own Supervisor. This must be where the whole "knowledge is power" thing comes from!




8. We forgot how to use common sense. Sad, but occasionally true!




9. We attend HR “Networking” events that are organized and run by consultants who are there to feed us with their point of view (smart tactic to ensure we are talking about them instead of real business issues)




10. We create 4, ten page documents with 3 appendixes and 6 pie charts to communicate a basic change about employee expense guidelines. It's called simple people - let's try it occasionally!